My Place.

I learned such a good lesson today.

I.AM.SOMEBODY.

Because nobody is a nobody.

And sometimes, I KNOW we forget that.

We forget that we belong
We forget that we have worth
We forget that we all have potential to change this world
We forget that we are each beautiful.

I learned that I need to do my best to never forget that I am, me.
That there is no one else out there like me, I am the only me.
That I was brought on this earth not just because I chose too, but for a reason.
Someone on this earth needs me, I am somebody's everything.

And to whoever takes the time to read this, So are you.

We are who we are, forever and always.

And forever is a long, long time <3

-Dearest Lovely

I've decided.

That I REALLY need to just stop worrying about stuff. 

Even the stupid and petty little things that really don't matter. I also realized that it's hard to tell someone to chill when you know you'd be freaking out in the same situation. Time to walk the talk.

Maybe:

I should just start meditating erryday. I hear it helps.

Just find a quiet place to relax and file my thoughts in the right order, so I can have a moment of sanity and peace. 

Because to me, it feels like on the outside I'm fine, but on the inside? I'm a complete mess, like the little cogs and knobs that were once harmoniously revolving together like a clock have rusted, broken down, and have begun to effect my life.

That IS going to change.

-Dearest Lovely

P.S. I welcome opportunities to learn and strive to be my best and help others. Service is good for the soul.

Hmph.

Today...is...can I say a not so good day?

I discourage myself...a lot. 

And it kills me....a lot.

I have so many out going friends that just do their own thing and are just simply awesome! and the more I think about it, the more I start to realize how un-awesome I am. I DON'T LIKE IT. So some people say, "Well..that's your fault, change it for yourself." 

Because we all know how helpful THAT is. 

SORRY. 

I'm frazzled. I just see no self worth. And I don't feel so comfty just complaining on facebook, sorry follows, your just gonna hafta bear with me.

Another thought. 

I just wanna be better...because I believe that once I love myself I can love others even more, because I'm confident. But I guess that's for me to fix..

Right?

One of my friends says she wants to make a difference. And she inspires me, a lot. and makes me realize that I'll hafta make myself a better person and make changes in my life. Because to be honest...I want to make a difference too...even just once...in someones life.....just one?......please?

I MUST MAKE MY OWN PATH <3

-Dearest Lovely

Welp.

My party? 

Swimmingly smooth just like I said :]

I kina realized that i really prefer quality over quantity, I had such a good time :) 

I'd like to take a moment to thank Madi, Emilee, Alex, Garrett, Ashley, and my family for making it wonderful :)

And an extra thanks to Madi for giving me athletes foot creme :P 

NO.

I do not have athlete's foot.  Medical Anatomy.  You had to be there.

AND just like I said...I got caked in the face! 

Might as well make it a tradition at this point lol.

Ya better run for your life if you can little girl, hide your head in the sand little girl.

-Dearest Lovely

One year older and wiser too, hhhaaaappy birth-day, too you :]

I'm finally 18 :)

I'll be honest...I dont feel much different..but..still.

Brooke says "You're 18! you can buy dry ice! and  propane...and go to jail."

Which are of course my three birthdays wishes :P

Love you Brooke <3

I've gotten sooo many facebook comments!

I.FEEL.LOVED.

I'm so thankful for all the wonderful people in my life; helping me through that tough times and pushing me to do my best <3

I'm hoping this party tonight will go swimmingly smooth :]

I'll be blogging later about every detail.

EVEN

If I get caked in the face :P

Guess we'll find out!

ITS A PARTY WE CAN DANCE IF WE WANT TOO! COME ON AND PARTY LIKE THERE AIN'T  NO CURFEW!

Cause there isn't...cause I'm 18 ;)

-Dearest Lovely

People. Are. Beautiful

Ya know those people that you just see as strikingly beautiful?

Whether their famous or not?

Just how everyone is so wonderfully unique? Special? INcredible?

Here, I'll show you :]

-Dearest Lovely

we belong to the music.

hmmm.

Sometimes, I just have these little outbursts in my head, and all I see is beautiful photography, the way I would do it, the amazing quality and colors, bringing out the beauty of people in vast green fields.

Sometimes, I see all the beautiful details in the paintings and sketches i'd do. The shades of different colors to make texture, light, darkness, shapes, and so much more.

Sometimes, I see all the wonderful people I'd do makeup on. How I would bring out their eyes and extenuate their own unique features with tones and harmonious colors.

Sometimes, I see what I want.

But most of the time..... I just don't know how to get it.....

But maybe one day; I'll achieve one...... Some day.

 

-Dearest Lovely

Rain drops keep fallin on my head.

I love the rain <3

The smell.

The photography oppertunities. 

The fact that it makes the clouds gray.

The fact that it's simple, beautiful, and makes me wanna cuddle up inside a blanket.

The end.

-Dearest Lovely

College. Blehh.

 I'M FRAZZLED, MIND BOTTLED, AND GOING CRAZY.

 College is difficult.

Not only the process, but actually choosing were you're going to go.

But there's another problem..MONAYYY.

So here's my plan.

I'm gonna go to the U of U...or USU. I have no idea yet. BUT I'm going to transfer to one of the two AFTER I get my associates degree at DST. Hopefully I can get grants for my major and what not and scholarships like no other for anything I can. I want a minor in art history and a major in Diabetic Nurse or educator.

Time to start working my butt off.

Looks like I'll be milking the diabetes thing for all it's worth.

 But ya know..I'm really excited :] I want to start over and meet new people and go new places in my life..I think I'm 95% ready for that stage in my life to come! To be a new me.

I say all this like it's almost easy..but I know It'll be a hard journey. I'll have to go through a lot and work hard.

But hey, It'll be worth it. Because we all know how much fun skiing season is right? :]

It's Saturday!

Soooooooooo TODAY.

I went to Zion National Park for the first time in a lllooooonnnnggggggg time. 

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.

Madi and I hiked the narrows in freezing cold water! Guess that's what we get for going in October.

But seriously, it really was such a good experience. It was exactly what I needed, to be out in nature and just not worry about other stuff in my life. I got away, even if it was only for a few hours. 

Today was a really good day, props to Madi for takin me! Now I just have to focus on the rest of my homework....boo. 

-Dearest Lovely

P.S. I say "like" about 5 to 10 times in this lolololol