Rain drops keep fallin on my head.

I love the rain <3

The smell.

The photography oppertunities. 

The fact that it makes the clouds gray.

The fact that it's simple, beautiful, and makes me wanna cuddle up inside a blanket.

The end.

-Dearest Lovely

College. Blehh.

 I'M FRAZZLED, MIND BOTTLED, AND GOING CRAZY.

 College is difficult.

Not only the process, but actually choosing were you're going to go.

But there's another problem..MONAYYY.

So here's my plan.

I'm gonna go to the U of U...or USU. I have no idea yet. BUT I'm going to transfer to one of the two AFTER I get my associates degree at DST. Hopefully I can get grants for my major and what not and scholarships like no other for anything I can. I want a minor in art history and a major in Diabetic Nurse or educator.

Time to start working my butt off.

Looks like I'll be milking the diabetes thing for all it's worth.

 But ya know..I'm really excited :] I want to start over and meet new people and go new places in my life..I think I'm 95% ready for that stage in my life to come! To be a new me.

I say all this like it's almost easy..but I know It'll be a hard journey. I'll have to go through a lot and work hard.

But hey, It'll be worth it. Because we all know how much fun skiing season is right? :]

It's Saturday!

Soooooooooo TODAY.

I went to Zion National Park for the first time in a lllooooonnnnggggggg time. 

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.

Madi and I hiked the narrows in freezing cold water! Guess that's what we get for going in October.

But seriously, it really was such a good experience. It was exactly what I needed, to be out in nature and just not worry about other stuff in my life. I got away, even if it was only for a few hours. 

Today was a really good day, props to Madi for takin me! Now I just have to focus on the rest of my homework....boo. 

-Dearest Lovely

P.S. I say "like" about 5 to 10 times in this lolololol

Sometimes life's intoxicating.

Well, gotta get down on Friday right? It's been such a hard few weeks. Yes, I know. All I seem to be doing lately is complaining, but I've come to think of this as my virtual therapy. A spur the moment virtual piece of paper to just explode all my messy and complicated thoughts on. 

For all the words I couldn't say. 

I am soooo ready to graduate, that whole "Starting over and beginning again" is sounding better and better with each passing month. 

It's like my life has been set in motion for good. Like now I just HAVE to keep going, almost like there's never a break, but I have hope. 

I

WILL

GET 

THROUGH 

THIS.

-Dearest Lovely

On a late note.

I

HAVE

SO

MUCH

GOING

ON.

Kina feels like the world is spinning and spinning and I'm to dizzy to get up.

I wanna be better..I wanna smile too. Why is it so hard? But I guess that's why life is a trial.

Sometimes I sit and think of all the things I'm sorry for, but that's for a later time.

But ya know what? Sometimes, I believe in six impossible things before breakfast.

-Dearest Lovely

I'll be honest

I'll be honest,

It's hard....okay, really hard.

Not to want to have someone, someone to let your know your beautiful, amazing, and someone who won't...well you know, be stupid.

Sometimes I wonder why? I wanna shut myself away in a little box at times. Do I sound dramatic yet? But seriously though, I look at the girls who always seem to have someone liking them; the ones who always have a new man on the horizon....I wonder when the last time was that I ever watched a sunset with a guy...but I digress.

ANYWAY, then there's those moments. Ya know. When the optimism sets in and your like "Men? Who cares? NOT ME,"  But let's not lie to ourselves, after awhile...we do. Everyone does. Love, the very word makes my heart ache, when? Why doesn't come faster for me! That is the question indeed. 

So really what I'm saying is that I WANT A MAN....but not really...but I do. 

See there's these things called emotions, they kind of mess with your mind; I think sometimes just to see how far they can push you. Joy. 

But once again, I digress.

-Dearest Lovely

through the trees, i will find you

hope.

hope for a little less pain.

hope for the families with no homes.

hope for help from above.

hope for compassion.

hope to keep moving forward.

        Seeing this simply breaks my heart, horror striking in more and more places, people dead or missing, homes and cities torn apart, losing everything and so much more I can hardly comprehend. But I have hope that things will start to be okay, maybe not today or tomorrow, but sometime. I cant imagine losing a loved one so quickly in a mater of days and with everything being practically gone and piled up, who knows if you'd ever find them. 

         My heart goes out to Japan and its people. But I know they have hope, hope that things will get better. Not to mention the chemical outburst from all the nuclear plants, workers going back to help and try to fix the problem. I give them props for doing the right thing. they're all going through so much when I hardly even have to worry that something like that would happen in the U.S. I hope for many things one day not just for me, but for the world.

hope for love.

hope for more happiness.

and less sadness.

hope for more life and color.

and a little less sickness and death.

hope for a better tomorrow.

Je t'aime 

-Dearest Lovely